Deciding to get divorced is an emotional and complex decision. Once you reach the point where you are sure this is the path you want to take, you may not know where to start. Here are some crucial steps to help you prepare for the journey ahead.
Consider Your Living Situation
One of the most pressing questions to answer before you file for divorce is where you both are going to live. If there is home ownership involved, there may be a debate as to who should remain in the home and who should find another location to live in. Consider the stability and well-being of any children involved, as well as the financial implications of maintaining the household on a single income. Also remember that child support and spousal maintenance are awarded in many divorces and, if awarded, these will impact both parties' incomes.
Gather Financial Information
The division of assets is a significant part of the divorce process – but the court will need to have a comprehensive view of the couple's financial situations before any decisions can be made. Important financial information includes any assets, debts, income, and expenses. You may not have access to all your spouse's financial information, but knowing about certain debts, properties, or bank accounts can give your attorneys a head-start. Knowing where your information (bank and retirement statements, tax returns, credit card balances) is all you need to worry about. Your spouse will be required to discuss their own information.
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Create a Post-Divorce Budget
Divorce is a long and expensive process. And when separating from a spouse, it's possible you are losing a crucial source of income for maintaining your lifestyle and/or supporting your children. Creating a monthly budget of your living expenses will help you understand what you'll need to survive during and after the divorce. Your budget should include housing, utilities, groceries, transportation, healthcare, and any other regular expenses. A well-thought-out budget can assist your attorney in negotiating support payments, ensuring you maintain financial stability during this transition.
Be Conservative With Your Expenses
Both before and during the divorce process, it's normal to have unexpected expenses arise. You can and should keep paying these, and whenever possible you should make sure your spouse is aware of them. Be careful, though, not to acquire expenses or make payments that are “out of the ordinary.” These might be labeled as “wasteful” during a divorce action. A good rule to consider here is to ask yourself – “is this an expense we would have made during our time as a couple?”
It's important to note that when a divorce is in process, automatic orders are put in place to prevent large financial changes to be made. If you are unsure about an expense or financial decision, we recommend consulting with your attorney first.
Understand Your Options
Divorce has a reputation for being volatile, expensive, and combative, but it doesn’t have to be that way. There are three main options for divorce: litigation, mediation, and collaborative divorce.
- Litigation is the most commonly known, with each party retaining an attorney and presenting their case in a courtroom.
- Mediation involves a neutral third party who helps the couple reach an agreement. This approach can be less adversarial and more cost-effective.
- Collaborative Divorce is where both parties and their attorneys agree to work together to resolve issues without going to court. This method encourages cooperation and open communication.
Hire a Divorce Attorney
Finding a divorce attorney that best suits you will be essential in making this process as smooth as possible. It can be beneficial to hire an attorney early to guide you through the process.
We recommend you consider an attorney's experience, communication style, and fees to choose which one is right for you. Don't underestimate the power of personality and communication style. Divorce is an emotional process, and it's important that you find someone who will listen to your concerns and advocate for your needs.
Additional Tips
- Emotional Support: Seeking emotional support from family, friends, or even a therapist can make a significant difference during this very difficult period of life.
- Prioritize Your Children: Studies show that heavily exposing children to a volatile divorce process can have emotional and psychological effects that can last for years. While we understand it can be difficult to keep your personal emotions separate, you should shield your children from conflict as much as possible. While divorce may be the best decision for your family, your children may need their emotional needs met as they come to understand how their family is changing.
- Stay Organized: Keep all your documents and correspondence organized. This will help you and your attorney make the process more efficient – and therefore, potentially reduce legal costs.
Conclusion
Remember, while divorce marks the end of one chapter, it also signifies the beginning of a new one. With the right support and preparation, you can move forward confidently into your next phase of life.
At Bousquet Holstein, we are committed to providing compassionate, knowledgeable guidance to clients considering a divorce or separation. Our attorneys have extensive experience with complex division of assets, sophisticated negotiations, and collaborative and mediated divorces.
Whether you're scheduling your first consultation, ready to go through divorce proceedings, or somewhere in between, we're here to help you make the best decision for yourself and your family.
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Ryan S. Suser, Esq.
Ryan is an experienced divorce and family law attorney with a reputation for his advocacy both inside and outside the courtroom. His exceptional skills as a litigator and negotiator allow him to successfully represent his clients' best interests and work out amicable solutions wherever possible.